just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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