was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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