BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have aggressive nipples.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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