ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
