You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
