she was so not down for the gang bang
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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