so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
