I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
