Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
