Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
