The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
