ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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