As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
