They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
