Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize