Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize