Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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