I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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