So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There r osticjed everywhere
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
