so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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