Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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