i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
