found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
