3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
