I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
