I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
