You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
