wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize