All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
