yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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