Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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