Just cropdusted the office
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
