3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
