Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
