i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
