im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
