There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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