I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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