the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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