Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize