Soap is not a condiment
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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