He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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