HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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