I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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