I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
