come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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