I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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