He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize