Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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