so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
