im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
