Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm at about main and main street
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
