He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
