I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
