I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm too high and old for this...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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