i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize