I am midnight drunk by noon
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
