How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
