positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
