the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
