Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
