I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
