You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Randomize
