Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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