Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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